‘We'll certainly take that on board.’

You leave the meeting satisfied. The questions were good. Someone on their side even mentioned exploring next steps. You make a note: deal moving.

Two weeks later, nothing. You follow up. Warm reply, no movement. Another week. Still nothing.

Eventually a mutual contact fills you in: they went in a different direction. Decided back in October. Right around when they'd said they'd take it on board.

The situation

The British professionals in that meeting did communicate their position. ‘Quite interesting’ is a downgrader in British English: it weakens, where you'd expect it to strengthen. ‘We'll take it on board’ is a soft close. ‘Perhaps we might explore this further’ contains four separate hedging signals. The message was sent. Clearly, by their own measure.

On the other side of the table, the Latin American professionals read what was in front of them: questions, warmth, language pointing toward next steps. In Latin American professional culture, if there's a real objection, it tends to surface in the conversation, or in the relationship. Enthusiasm signals alignment. The room felt positive, so the room was positive.

Both readings were internally coherent. Neither was wrong about what those signals mean at home.

The friction

The Slot System™ treats indirectness as a professional virtue. Saying no plainly is considered unnecessarily blunt, even unkind. So British professionals encode the no through hedging, softening language, and constructions that technically leave the door open while closing it. From inside the system, this is clarity with consideration.

The Flow System™ treats expressiveness as a reliable signal. What is said is what is meant. Warmth means warmth. A question means interest. Coded language reads as sincere language because, at home, that's what it is.

Both sides were communicating. The friction lives in the gap between two systems that use the same words to carry different weight.

Slot v. Flow™ in action

🔗 Continue reading here: https://www.multilateral.studio/newsletters/the-friction-dispatch/posts/the-yes-that-was-not